Some men seriously need a slap in the face and a speaker pressed to their ear with someone screaming that it is not a human right to get laid, but it is my human right to say no.

and don’t let me even start about oracle america and java

OH MY GOD, norton security program is like that annoying grandmother who nags you all. the fucking. time. and is only saying how shit your life is when she’s not helping you, and when she is, she’s forcing cookies down your throat.

portablemiah:

i think males shouldn’t be able to say they’re pro-life or pro-choice

rosalarian:

Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy, in case you hadn’t heard. How dare she remove those ticking time bombs from her chest, amiright? Like, hasn’t she learned by now that her body is public domain and we all get to vote on what she does with it? Sheesh, how selfish can ya get.

three steps to be the ideal woman for ur husband:

1. learn how to cook: pour some arsenic in that soup, and learn how to handle the knifes.
2. learn how to clean: make it impossible for the csi to find out it was you. drown that place with salmiac.
3. be polite. smile and maintain that perfect surface. don’t speak unless spoken to. the less you say, the less you reveal.

you are now ready to be perfect wife. also remember, the most important task for u is to raise good children. start them up real young with some sessions at the gun hall.

they say you don’t get to bring any possessions when you die but i’m positive you don’t get to bring anything at all, so i will not feel guilty for watching five movies a day instead of reading philosophy because in the end, we won’t be nothing more than an oil bubble in a fish soup, with no fancy cars, but neither with any intelligent thoughts.